on my heart, overshare series, Parenting

Invasion of the tweenagers.

February 17, 2018

It has really hit Paul and me that we are now in a new stage of parenting, a particularly challenging stage.   I think all stages of parenting are challenging in one way or another.
William and Emily are at the cusp of their teen years and this tween thing does feel like something else.   All my bad parenting habits have become even more obvious to me. My bad habit of being quick to anger and punish is coming back to haunt me full force, and I need to learn quickly how to be slow to anger cause once I go off everything heads south real fast.
As a stay at home/work at home Mum , I know I kind of set the tone here so I really need a lot more “thinking before I speak”  to go on.

The emotions are thick at home, especially for my girl, and I can see the changes in her, i hear the way she speaks, the things she requests from me (No patterns on leggings anymore mum)
I’ve always been their mother (and obviously, still am), but now is the time where occasionally they also need me to be their friend.
Paul and I have spent the last (almost) 13 years setting the tone, rules, routine, expectations, but now, during this particular stage, I’m learning that sometimes they also just need me to be their friend. They need me to listen and talk through things instead of simply tell them things.

So we’re working on it, we aren’t doing it perfectly, and they’ll be lots of messing up along the way.

I have read parenting books, I am well aware that normal development for children is full of fits and starts, bumps and bruises.    Just because you are in the midst of today’s drama doesn’t mean you have lost your child.   On the other side of the crisis may be a deeper relationship and a son or daughter who has once more learned to turn to you. It may be that your steady presence is all your child needs to right themselves.
It’s not meant to be easy, this much I know.

Now that my kids are maturing, the fog has mostly lifted, I now consider myself a fully indoctrinated member of the mum club.
I want you guys to know it’s not all squabbles – a perk of this stage is that WHEN my kids want to spend time with me, we have real conversations that reveal their beautiful personalities.
It gives me a glimpse of the true them and allows me to be more intentional in how I raise them.

So yeah send me luck and pray for my soul cos shits gonna get interesting here in the Stirling household.