around here, on my heart

Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind? Being a honest friend.

September 27, 2017

I used to be close to several people who would regularly put me down.

Looking back, their behavior was extremely unacceptable, and I’m glad they’re no longer around. They claimed that they were being cruel to be kind, but nothing they did ever benefited me in the slightest.

I think that I’ve got relatively thick skin, and it takes a lot to make me angry, but I don’t think that enduring years of put-downs under the guise of it being for my own benefit was worth it. Life’s too short to be mean.
Speaking from experience, it’s best to surround yourself with people who treat you kindly. They’ll encourage you to believe in yourself, rather than making you feel like sh*t at every available opportunity.

It is certainly no secret that people do seek to hurt each other for their own personal gain, however a psychological study has proved what I have believed all along, that the type of honesty, authenticity and straight talking, can be done for a different positive reason.

Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

The study in question was conducted at the University of Plymouth by psychological scientist Belén López-Pérez, and it involved 140 adult participants.
Taken from the article
We have shown that people can be ‘cruel to be kind’ — that is, they may decide to make someone feel worse if this emotion is beneficial for that other person, even if this does not entail any personal benefit for them,” López-Pérez said.
These findings shed light on social dynamics,” López-Pérez said, “helping us to understand, for instance, why we sometimes may try to make our loved ones feel bad if we perceive this emotion to be useful to achieve a goal.”

What do you think of these findings? Have you ever deliberately been “mean” (honest/blunt/straight talking)  to someone in an attempt to help them? Or do you believe that fake kindness is always the best way to help a true friend?



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