on my heart, Parenting

Stop one upping each other

September 1, 2017

Why does it feel like being a woman is so hard these days?. I’m gonna be honest with you, it is exhausting.

Our conversations seem to circle around the same topics. Topics that make us feel judged for every decision we make. Topics that make us, women, feel like we must be superwomen, able to do it all and do it all perfectly!
How often do you hear these topics in conversation?

Do you breastfeed or formula feed? Are you a stay at home Mum or working one? Organic or non-organic? Did you make a home cooked meal for dinner or order take out? (Or heaven forbid feed your children cereal for dinner like I did last night). Size 8 or size 24? Did you make the most perfect, “pinterest – worthy” class snack or buy prepackaged from the store? Did she eat lunch alone (and continue to work through lunch) or eat with her co-workers (and talk)? The list goes on and on.


While we don’t necessarily ask these questions out right, we feel judged on the answers or decisions we choose. The pressure is on. We FEEL it. As women, we feel put in this position to do better or “one up” each other or even ourselves. We want to exceed expectations time and time again when in reality we are stressed out. We are tired.

I PERSONALLY CAN’T KEEP UP! I feel so overwhelmed with this persona of “perfect” and having to keep up with the “latest” news. Some days I just want to throw in the towel and say, “Yes, my kids had McDonald’s today and they had a fizzy drink. I still wear maternity shirts from time to time because they are comfortable. I let my kids play on the tablet so I could write this article. And my car looks like it has been torn apart by hungry raccoons and I probably won’t have time to clean it anytime soon. So judge me!”

Please, please stop having these conversations with your friends and women you know. These decisions really don’t matter. As women we need to stop these constant cycles of judgement and find ways to help one another.

Maybe your friend is struggling because her husband is out of town? Then offer support. Take her a meal, play with her kids, bring her wine, let her vent.


Be the type of friend that you want to have. Be non-judgemental, forgiving, accepting and just be REAL. Let your friends know that you make mistakes, you aren’t perfect and I guarantee you, they will want to show you the same.


What do you think about one uppers?

(You can buy that print from my website here)




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