dementia, on my heart

The truth about caring for my Dad who has Dementia

September 1, 2016

If you are new to my story, I have previously written about Dementia here.

Caring for a loved one who has dementia is a role I didn’t ask for, don’t want, and frankly, I feel like I kind of suck at it.

I constantly feel alone in this.  When I truthfully speak about my feelings, it makes people uncomfortable and often stupid things come out of their mouth. Want an example? When I say care-giving sucks, I have been told “no, you don’t really mean that.” But yes, yes I really do.   Turning up to visit someone who has dementia can be tough, you never know what to expect, so you go into it with zero expectations.

I honestly don’t want to be told how I should feel, I am allowed to be angry, there is nothing rewarding about what I am doing, I am not lucky.  My Dad may be alive but he’s in pieces – he’s not whole.  I don’t consider that ‘lucky’.

I know that every honest caregiver has moments of sheer rage and resentment.   My outlet, I prefer the shower, the one in the bathroom where the door still locks and I cry it out.

I am told it’s common for caregivers feel sad, lost, and sometimes angry ― very angry.

Sometimes, like everyone going through anything difficult, I just need to let it all hang out.





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