The truth about caring for my Dad who has Dementia
If you are new to my story, I have previously written about Dementia here.
Caring for a loved one who has dementia is a role I didn’t ask for, don’t want, and frankly, I feel like I kind of suck at it.
I constantly feel alone in this. When I truthfully speak about my feelings, it makes people uncomfortable and often stupid things come out of their mouth. Want an example? When I say care-giving sucks, I have been told “no, you don’t really mean that.” But yes, yes I really do. Turning up to visit someone who has dementia can be tough, you never know what to expect, so you go into it with zero expectations.
I honestly don’t want to be told how I should feel, I am allowed to be angry, there is nothing rewarding about what I am doing, I am not lucky. My Dad may be alive but he’s in pieces – he’s not whole. I don’t consider that ‘lucky’.
I know that every honest caregiver has moments of sheer rage and resentment. My outlet, I prefer the shower, the one in the bathroom where the door still locks and I cry it out.
I am told it’s common for caregivers feel sad, lost, and sometimes angry ― very angry.
Sometimes, like everyone going through anything difficult, I just need to let it all hang out.